Now before we start, let’s make it clear that not everybody who shares pictures of themselves on vacation is a showoff. In fact, I like to know what my favorite content creators are doing in their spare time. I love watching their vacation pictures and videos.
However, it wouldn’t be difficult to spot a real show off on social media. One that everyone would agree on is a show-off without argument.
It’s essential that we address the psychological reasons behind why some people like to show off because I realized that while seeing those pictures floating on the internet has no impact on me, it does make a lot of people depressed.
I think it’s time we take a look down the truth lane. A place that many don’t like to visit because it exposes their inner state and vulnerability but nevertheless offers important insights.
In the end, you may gain the ability to look past their carefully calibrated flashy pictures and see the insecurity that explains their behaviors.
Table of Contents
1. Feeling of inferiority
A person who feels inferior may feel the need to prove to themselves and others that they aren’t inferior and to do so, they may show off.
Their thinking tends to follow something like the following: “Look at me in my fancy dress and expensive shoes. Would I be a loser if I can afford this? Of course not so that means I’m not inferior”.
Showing off may not automatically make someone feel superior but they are desperately trying to fit the image of a successful person. The false belief that being successful would make one feel superior will leave them feeling empty at the end of the day after they exhaust themselves from all the “showing off”.
One can’t derive confidence from showing off. At least not the permanent kind of confidence. It may give them a sense of importance and an ego boost but all of that would be temporary, fading as quickly as the attention.
There’s a clear link between narcissism and the feeling of inferiority. On the outside, it may seem like the person has got it all and they “love” themselves but hidden beneath that is the feeling of inferiority that may be undeserved from something that happened in their childhood.
Nobody likes to feel inferior to others and it’s such a precise feeling that causes one to feel the need to disprove.
2. To quiet the memory of poverty in the past
There are a lot of rags to riches stories. I think they make for better stories than those who were born rich.
But for a moment here, we need to examine the effect poverty has on a person’s need to prove something. Perhaps it’s their way of saying that they “made it” and that they are no longer poor.
Not everybody who comes from poverty and later on becomes rich wants to show off when sharing pictures of themselves vacationing. In fact, I think most don’t share pictures of themselves enjoying lives to show off but there are those who do share these videos and pictures of themselves seemingly happy and carefree in an expensive place as a way to soothe their wounded ego incurred at times of poverty in the past.
Poverty may be long gone but the hurt ego and maybe even disrespectful treatments may still be fresh in their memory.
Showing off to prove that they’ve escaped poverty may give a temporary fix and a short burst of self-importance but ultimately, they should understand that no one’s opinion of them matters as much as their own and they don’t need the approval of others to feel rich or be labeled as a success. They should also look back at their progress and feel proud of themselves for how far they’ve come.
3. Lack of confidence
A lack of confidence could be the reason why a person may show off as they feel that they need to compensate for the feeling of not feeling confident.
Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone else but walking into a room feeling no need to compare because you’re at ease in your skin. You’re comfortable with yourself and are happy with yourself.
A person with a lack of confidence often has the habit of comparing themselves to others either consciously or unconsciously. This comparison can make a lot of people feel inadequate thus to quiet their feeling of not quite feeling good about themselves, they’d have to make some grand gesture to show themselves that they do indeed have it all and should be confident.
Most of us can easily pick up a lack of confidence in people. It isn’t to see why people prefer to be seen as confident. We tend to treat those with confidence with more respect. Those with low confidence and self-esteem issues may thus be influenced to chase after the admiration that comes with confidence. Unfortunately, for many of them, it’s the illusion of confidence that they tried to create when they show off not the true root of confidence that they should cultivate.
4. To gain social validation
We live in a materialistic society where those with a lot of shiny things and expensive cars are viewed with a certain level of respect and approval.
Personally, I don’t let shiny things dictate what I think about a person. In fact, when I do see people exhibiting their expensive gadgets all I see is an insecure person who place a lot of importance on made-up social status symbols that is only applicable to a specific time in history. Think about lobster, it’s now the symbol of wealth but was the main diet for the poor a few hundreds of years ago.
For anybody to place such importance on the opinion of everyone else they must not think very highly of themselves. In many ways, it’s pathetic, sad, and shallow. It indicates (although not guaranteed) a lack of depth in their character and intelligence.
A person may show off to gain social validation. I do think it’s ridiculous how a person can buy approval and respect from others with shiny things.
5. Victim of the hierarchy game
What is the hierarchy game? Well, think about this, everywhere you go, there is a hierarchy in place. It’s in school between peers and between students and their teachers. It’s in the workplace between employees and their bosses. It’s between rich people because believe it or not, there are different levels of wealth.
A person may overly compensate for their feeling of inferiority and maybe even slight disrespect that they felt when they were at the bottom of the hierarchy. They may have climbed up a few steps and now it gives them the chance to show off to those at the bottom.
6. To impress somebody
For anybody to be impressed with shiny things and money, they must have a shallow character.
There are many who are showing off their money in an effort to impress someone. They could be trying to impress potential business partners, women, the mass, strangers on the internet, etc.
7. To gain a following
There are fake rich people on social media everywhere. They show off their fake wealth to try and gain a following which can then be used to secure sponsorship deals with brands and make them actual money.
Personal story of my old supervisor
When I was working at my last job, I had multiple supervisors of varying levels above me. I was fresh out of college so I didn’t have much experience at all, I was at the absolute bottom of the ladder. My supervisors all started out at my level and then slowly climbed their way up.
There was this supervisor that constantly talked about how “rich” she is and how her family owns a business in the real estate sector, how many houses she has, how many designer shoes she’s got, how well she gets paid, etc.
Here’s something about slightly above average rich people, they tend to like to “show off”. Truly rich people don’t like to show off because it signifies potential danger.
Beneath all that self-proclaimed riches and supposed confidence is a very vulnerable woman who while doing better financially than most people, is still deeply in need of assurance from others of her status and placement in life.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she exaggerated any part of her wealth. Perhaps, she did own those houses but only through her extended family. She’s not the sole owner of those properties but maybe only has a <15% stake.
It was also quite awful to hear her talk relentlessly about how lucky and rich her children are because of her. How she’s planning to buy a house for her daughter soon. A daughter that she has declared to be exactly my age.
Nobody likes to hear anybody brag about how “rich” they are. For someone to do so without the emotional intelligence to predict or care about how someone else may feel indicate a selfish urgent desire to fill the insecurity she experiences from something in her life.
Even though that experience was awful. I realized that it has taken her decades to get to where she is today. She’s near retirement age. I, on the other hand, am in my early 20s with so much potential in an era where making lots of money on the internet is possible as long as you got access to the internet.
I feel determined to surpass her in networth someday. I have no doubt that I will. When I get there, there’s nothing to prove to anybody. I won’t show off. There’s no declaration to be made. But it is a silent promise for me that I can do it too. The point isn’t to compare wealth or be richer than anybody but to believe in my own capabilities.
Instead of doing what everyone else is doing — worshipping someone for the amount of money they have, I know that I’m perfectly able to create as much if not more wealth for myself.
I never liked hierarchy in the workplace or at school between teachers and students (although I do respect everybody doesn’t matter their status) and I don’t believe that anyone should automatically deserve my admiration for how “rich” they are because I know wealth is attainable. Anyone can become “rich” (which means different things to different people).
If being rich is the only factor one would need to gain respect and admiration, I think that would be a shallow move. For this reason, I never look up or down on anybody by their networth. I think the person who cleans the bathroom for a living and the CEO who makes millions a year both deserve my equal respect. And it can be annoying when someone expects a certain type of admiration just because they are “rich”.
Final thought
I grew up without any social media even though I’m only in my early 20s and should have been exposed to some. I was taught from a young age to not follow the crowd so when everybody was sharing pictures and videos of themselves on Vine, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, Snapchat, etc for likes, follows, compliments, and attention. I wasn’t doing any of that.
When everybody was doing makeup, dying their hair, vaping, smoking marijuana, partying, getting into relationships, and having sex, I wasn’t doing any of that. Whatever was the “it” thing at the time was what didn’t faze me.
So in many ways, I’m able to experience the world in a much less influenced way than most others my age. And with it come a different perspective that may explain why I don’t feel the need to show off compared to almost everyone else in my generation.
For others my age who had been the active users of these social media since the beginning, perhaps growing up being surrounded by all the flashy pictures of people with their expensive cars, private jets, and designer clothes (despite most of those being fake) made a lot of people felt insecure and now that they’re older, it’s become their objective to also show off to prove to people that they have it and to quiet their childhood feeling of relative poverty.
Since I wasn’t exposed to any of that growing up, I don’t feel the need to ever declare my status to the world at whichever stage of my success.
I think this illustrates how social media shapes us. Social media can be a great tool to help you make money but with it also comes to the downsides of being influenced to chase after something that is ultimately in vain.
